Valley Girl Dubs

The length of my longest relationship. (Rounded to the nearest month.)

When you’re with someone for that long, even if you have your fair share of problems or fights, you never really think there’s going to be an end date.

An expiration date.

A time where you won’t feel the same way you’ve always felt about that person.

A time where you have to picture your future without that person.

A time where that person will say incredibly hurtful things to you. (And you’ll probably do the same.)

This break-up was by no means unexpected.

And I wish I could say that that makes it easier.

But I would be lying.

((This is an awkward thing for me to write about here. Because while this is MY place to write whatever I want, he knows about this bloggy blog. (Hi JWO!) His friends know. My friends know. My coworkers know. My parents and siblings know. It’s hard for me to be entirely honest in this space because of the people who I know can read what I put here. But for the past two years, this has been my place. And it’s going to continue to be my place.))

I have a lot of love in my heart for the person that I’ve been with for nearly 4 years. And I don’t see that changing any time soon.

I have no idea where this decision will take us. Or where I will be a few months from now. Or years from now.

I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m nervous. I’m relieved.

But most of all, I’m ready.

Not ready to date. Not ready to move on entirely. Not ready to forgive (or forget). Not ready for the hard times that I know will be coming.

…I’m ready to be happy.

So very ready.